How to show up in any room with a low heart rate: Silicon Valley’s missing etiquette playbook | Sam Lessin

Sam Lessin is a partner at Slow Ventures, a former VP of Product at Facebook, and a two-time founder who’s now teaching etiquette to Silicon Valley’s founders. In this unconventional episode, Sam explains why proper etiquette has become a vital skill for founders in 2026—especially as technology becomes more central to society and trust becomes harder to build. His etiquette book and courses have become surprisingly popular, teaching founders how to “show up in a room with a low heart rate” and quickly build trust.We discuss:1. Why etiquette matters2. Sam’s framework for showing up confidently, with a low heart rate, in any room3. How to navigate introductions, small talk, meetings, and meals like a pro4. Simple hacks for remembering names and handling awkward social situations5. 30+ specific etiquette tips—Brought to you by:10Web—Vibe-coding platform as an APIDX—The developer intelligence platform designed by leading researchersWorkOS—Modern identity platform for B2B SaaS, free up to 1 million MAUs—Episode transcript: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/silicon-valleys-missing-etiquette-playbook—Archive of all Lenny's Podcast transcripts:https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/yxi4s2w998p1gvtpu4193/AMdNPR8AOw0lMklwtnC0TrQ?rlkey=j06x0nipoti519e0xgm23zsn9&st=ahz0fj11&dl=0—Where to find Sam Lessin:• X: https://x.com/lessin• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wlessin• Website: https://www.wlessin.com• Podcast: https://moreorlesspod.com• Lettermeme: https://lettermeme.com/lessin—Where to find Lenny:• Newsletter: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com• X: https://twitter.com/lennysan• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennyrachitsky/—In this episode, we cover:(00:00) Sam’s background(04:18) The role of etiquette in business success(09:30) Introductions and entering a room(16:20) Engaging conversations and building relationships(23:55) Hygiene and dress code essentials(33:42) Dining etiquette(37:15) Tipping etiquette(41:36) The “B&D trick”(43:05) Humor in social settings(45:18) Se